Feb

24

Lessons in Political Correctness

February 24, 2007 |


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How to speak about WOMEN and be politically correct:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.

2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

3. She is not BLONDE - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a TWO-BIT SLAPPER - She is a LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.

 

How to speak about MEN and be politically correct:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He is GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL.

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

10. He is not a WANKER - He is an OWNER OPERATOR

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