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Apparently the following are from real insurance claim forms, submitted by people who have caused traffic accidents:

The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the bonnet of my car.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.  

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. 

I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I left for work this morning at 7am as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 miniutes early.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.

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