Marriage Breakdown

January 13, 2007 | Leave a Comment

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1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds,… hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere,… but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said,… so I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands,… If I let go… she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!”,… so I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was,… she told me “In the lake.”

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days,… then the mud fell off!

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling “Am I too late for the garbage?”,… The driver said “No, jump in!”

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right,… I┬ájust didn’t know her first name was Always.

12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months,… I don’t like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault! My wife asked “What’s on the TV?”,… I said “dust!”

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